A quick recap from my last post. It ended with, “And I choose this daily work of fully believing that I am worthy of doing all of these things. That I am worthy of the love & admiration from my husband, and of my amazing, perfect son…..Even when it feels hard as hell.”
Honestly, I often feel like these things should have mastered when I was 3. I look around and often see people with effortless self-confidence & just ‘knowing’ they are enough, exactly as they are.
For me, that just isn’t the case. No amount of wishing, thinking it isn’t fair, or kicking & screaming is going to change that fact. It takes me daily reminders of why I have chosen these paths.
And it took a lot of work to even get to this point. Eventually, I hope to have it be effortless, or at least feel second nature. I absolutely believe it will be.
But for now, I need these reminders – especially when I am already numbing myself with another handful of (dark) chocolate chips. Or scrolling through facebook.
I remind myself that I don’t want a numbed out life, working the daily grind at a job I am not passionate about. And even with these thoughts, I sometimes just keep scrolling and eating. Saying ‘F You” to myself & my choices.
You are absolutely NOT alone if there are things you want in your life that you find yourself self-sabotaging.
It is my PASSION to help women through this….AND I STILL FREAKING SELF SABOTAGE.
It isn’t about being perfect, or never self-sabotaging. Trust me. Everyone does it. Everyone.
It is what you do next that matters.
For me, it is reminding myself that this is MY CHOICE. This is my life. My path. I am the one taking the next step – even if it is backwards. Or straight into a hole & I curl up in a ball and whine a little. It is me who then has to take the next step back out.
What is it that you want in life? What is that path that you have chosen for yourself today?
For me, I choose this hard work of re-wiring my brain, of putting myself first & maintaining boundaries.
If you keep doing exactly what you’re doing – where will it lead you?
Are you happy with that?
If so, hell yeah!
If not – what is the one next tiny baby step you can take to alter that path?
If a plane goes off course by ONE DEGREE – that is 500 miles off course by the time they fly around the Earth.
So that means that even tiny changes results in a hugely different path over time, so don’t underestimate the power of going to bed 5 minutes earlier, drinking an extra glass of water, or going on a 5 min walk, or just smiling at yourself & saying “hello you beautiful badass” as you walk by a mirror…
Please do not hesitate to reach out if you need more support. I am happy to help you identify the next step. Just sign up here & be sure to mention “I want my next little step!”