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Does “Balance” Make you Want to Punch Someone?

When my toddler stopped taking his morning naps (aka my productive time), I felt doomed.  Any “balance” I had achieved felt thrown out the window.  For the 2 weeks we battled naps, my sleep was thrown off & I was pissy & irritable.
 

If someone had uttered to me, “You need more balance in your life”,  my initial instinct would have been to want to drop kick them.

 

Like, YAH right.

 

YOU try balancing part time clinic work, owning your own business, being a mom to a toddler, being a wife, dealing with a new rescue dog with some health issues, managing a house that feels like things are constantly breaking in AND trying to get sleep and be healthy.

 

While balance is a goal I aim for in myself and my clients, being told to find more balance while feeling like we are in crisis is ANNOYING.  Why?  Because it means having to remove some stuff, and usually (ironically), add other things in.

 

KT What “life balance” sometimes feels like….

But what happens when it literally feels IMPOSSIBLE to remove a single thing OR add anything else to your plate?

 

Here-in lies the Catch-22 of finding life balance (and why it can be so triggering!).

 

The thing is, if you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed & completely overworked, something is going to have to change IF you want to feel different.  If you are cool feeling that way, then you can just stop reading now.

 

Bare with me while we get gruesome for a second here.

 

What would happen if RIGHT NOW, you came down with a TERRIBLE case of the stomach flu?  Like cannot move from the bathroom, things coming out from both ends type scenario?

 

What would you do?

 

Going to work is NOT an option, doing house chores, running errands, etc are all definitely not options.

 

Turns out, you now need your appendix out (sorry).  You’re out for a week.  Doctors orders you need to recover.

 

 

Did the world implode?

 

No.  (just because it feels like it did doesn’t count.  And if it actually does, well, neither of us will be here, soooo you can’t prove me wrong anyway :p)

 

The truth is, even when we are out.  Everything somehow keeps going around us.  When our world stops, everyone else’s keeps going.

 

Might we miss out on something; miss a huge deadline; a big opportunity; or maybe let down some people?  Yup.  Absolutely.

 

But the world goes on.

 

So ask yourself, when you were hypothetically out sick for that week – what gave?  What were the FIRST things that you tasked out to your friends, spouse or hired help for?  What did you just not even care about getting done?

 

Take those things and figure out what you can apply NOW (I’d especially recommend just ditching the things you didn’t actually care about…)!!!

 

Most of us have a LAUNDRY list of things that feel like they are absolutely essential to do.  So when we try to tack on healthy eating, exercise and even just remembering to breathe, it feels impossible.

 

But what if you could clear out part of that list?  Actually give yourself room to breathe?

 

When we set up boundaries in our life (i.e. standing up to your boss and not staying late at work anymore, or telling the PTA pres that you aren’t volunteering every week), pressure, burden and stress eases.

 

When we ask for help, all of a sudden we aren’t responsible for every little thing.

 

And then when we introduce things like breathwork, mindset shifts, and other self care, an entire new world opens.

 

So what did I change?  I switched my mindset first, which led to a routine shift.

 

Instead of productive work time in the morning, morning times are now filled with spending quality time with my son & trying to get some household chores done.  If I happen to get an email or 2 shot off, cool.  Rather than try to exercise when he is occupied, I involve him – either carrying him on our walks, jogging with him in a stroller, or doing some exercise out in the yard while he plays & gets some outdoor time.  I accept that focused activities like meditation, journaling, blog posts are NOT going to happen when is awake.

 

So I don’t try.

 

And usually, if I get some good quality, fully present time with him, he then plays more independently after, so I can have some time that I’m not 100% focused on him (just 95% cause ya know, he is a toddler that finds every choking hazard in the house).

 

Chores that I typically do at night can be done with him standing in his learning tower and him watching me & getting involved.  And it frees up the night time to work on my focused activities while he is sleeping.

 

Most importantly, I remind myself that he is ONE,  and he needs me there for him.

 

 

 

 

Does this mean my business launch might occur 3 months (or a year….) later than I originally intended?  Yeah, probably.  But that is the path I have CHOSEN.  I could also choose to hire a sitter and get things done faster if I needed, but that isn’t my current choice.  It can be yours though.

 

And I DON’T get everything done I would like to – but that is where the mindset shift comes in.

 

You have two options:

 

  1. Get to the end of your day and be super happy that you crossed the 2 things off your to-do list AND even got a bonus 3rd thing in (Oh, glorious day!!!)

OR

2.  Get super pissed you didn’t get all 10 things checked off your list & feel worthless

 

It is 100% up to you to choose how you’d rather go to bed:  Full of gratitude, or beating yourself up.

 

Because neither changes what you got done that day.

 

So what do you find yourself constantly frustrated about?

 

How can you shift that via mindset or delegation (or both!)?

 

Only once you can identify the truly important things in your life, can you start to find balance.  Only once you set up boundaries & address that inner voice that talks shit about you all day long will you feel at ease. If you feel like you still need help – I am happy to talk you through it (free of charge!).  Just schedule a discovery call now!

 

So let me know – what is one thing you plan on shifting in your life, so the thought of balance not only feels attainable….but like FREEDOM?

Make Huge Impacts at Meals with One Small Change!

What no one told me about having a kid was the constant scrutiny my actions.  All of a sudden, behaviors I did in the comfort of my own home were accompanied by curious eyes.

Especially as I was doing things like…taking a bite out of a huge chunk of steak (ya know, rather than cut it like a decent adult would).  Or licking the deliciousness of that remaining sauce on my plate, which, btw, I still think this should become a social norm.  I mean, who wants to waste that!??

Anyways, THEY WATCH US! And learn from us.

POPSUGAR photography

 

And one behavior I PREACH about to my clients….I all of a sudden realized I was doing waaaay more than I realized.  Unless my husband was home & we were sitting down to a meal together, I rarely was sitting down to eat my own meals.

I’d literally pick my cooked bacon/sausage directly out of the pan I cooked it in to eat it.  Cause…one less plate to clean up, right!?

 

By this point, you’re probably thinking “sheesh, Andrea…were you raised by animals??”.  Nope.  In fact, my parents paid good money for me to go to cotillion and learn proper manners.  But much to their disdain, I seriously lacked the follow through on that….

 

Anyways, I digress.

 

Sitting down to meals is SO important for a variety of reasons.  It helps our body get into that parasympathetic (where you REST & DIGEST!) state.  This helps get all our digestive juices flowing & also makes it so our body is going to produce & be more receptive to our hormone that tells us we’ve had enough to eat (for you science nerds, it is actually a decrease in a hormone called ghrelin that tells our body we’re satiated).  AND, studies prove that standing while eating can actually lead to weight gain!

 

But so often, we don’t do it.  ESPECIALLY if we are home by ourselves/with our kiddos, for you mamas.

So, so often I hear the reasoning, “but what is the point, it is just me?” as a reason to not sit down (or even cook a meal for ourselves).

 

 

 

Well…I’m here to tell you, the point is that you MATTER.  Just being YOU is reason enough to sit down to a meal.  By yourself.  Or when your kiddos are playing around.  Even if you’re eating the remnants of your kiddos lunch.

 

 

 

After a few times of picking up chunks of food my baby left on his plate (ok again…yes, I have terrible manners) with my hands, while standing, and catching him looking at me….I had to wonder what message I was sending to him?!

So now, even if it is a small snack, leftovers, or a really nice home cooked meal, I make the effort to sit down, chew my food, and thoroughly taste & enjoy it.

Because I respect myself enough to do that for me.  I deserve that.

The question is – do you respect yourself to sit down to every meal?   

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